like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
