i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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