The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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