so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
