you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
