home. puking in laundry basket.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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