Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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