Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He felt like a one man threesome
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
