It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
