he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she peed on how many people?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
