if i died would you start the facebook group?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
