i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
