That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize