your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
