aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize