i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
