That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
