Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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