Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize