so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
they're like a gay fantastic four
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
