Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It's blow job season.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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