Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
