Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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