i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
