isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
