Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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