i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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