If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
did you just send me my own nude
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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