All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
