Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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