I look better un-naked...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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