Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
