i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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