wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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