I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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