apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
