Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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