I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
