i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
