i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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