This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
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