its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I need a burrito and a hug.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
