so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
