You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
