glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
