why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
