Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
