are you still at the devil's house?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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