i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
