Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i drank out of a bidet.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
