It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
