y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
