there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
