Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
