He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize