apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
