i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
