I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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