roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
