To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
