Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
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