when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
