the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
