but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
